Horse

Horses. Yep. Nestled between pages and pages of fanciful creatures, we have the horse. Not just one horse, either. There are four different kinds of horses in Bestiary 1. No fire breathing, no flying speed, no bonus damage versus evil creatures—just a horse. We here at Beastfinder have a lot to say about the horse, much to the chagrin of our beloved editor. And why shouldn't we? We thought it was really funny. Chances are horses are much more ubiquitous in your setting than many other creatures.

So what do you use the horse for? They're a staple of travel. Sure, you could say "this is a horse-drawn carriage," or "this is what the stablemaster has available for travel rates." Pretty boring. Take the horse as an opportunity to explore your worldbuilding, but focus on nomenclature this time. Find a list of horse breeds and count how many are named based on the geographical region they're from. Go ahead. I'll wait.

There were a lot, weren't there? Maybe you see where I'm going with this. What do you call a Galacian pony when Galacia doesn't exist? A Russian Heavy Draft horse? A Clydesdale? Feel free to just go through and slap different names on these horses, but think about what that means about where they're from.

What about horses specific to your setting? Look at the Ryshadium from the Stormlight Archive. They are prized not only for their intelligence but also because of their ability to carry riders wearing Shardplate (fantasy power armor), the Rhyshadium is integral to the warfare presented in the early parts of the series because regular horses are just too weak. There are tons of different fantasy horse breeds in the Powder Mage series. One of the characters in the Gods of Blood and Powder trilogy knows every horse breed there is, given his career as a lancer. What sort of needs does your setting have for specialized beasts of burden?

You could go ahead and pass the horse by, only looking at it when one of your players comes up with a hare-brained scheme involving the horses they rented (you know the type). Will you need the statblock very often? Probably not. But take the chance to use it as a building block of your world. Do a little digging! The horse may be as integral to the foundation of your world as it was in ours.

-TJ

Hook 1 (Max) - Hooves the Horse

How the legendary troubadour wound up in the body of a horse remains a mystery to this day, though most speculate that he angered one too many powerful people. As it turns out, an artist can make do with what they got, no matter their appearance.

Hooves the Horse is extraordinarily well known, his name preceding him wherever he goes. He can dance and, with each stomp of his hooves, create highly enchanting tunes. He can also sing beautiful songs, recite epic poems and do a great many other things.

Despite enjoying a certain degree of notoriety, Hooves is searching for a way to return to his former body—even though he does not recall what it was or how he became a horse in the first place. Despite his lack of memory of his former life, he is quite certain that he must have been some great bard once upon a time.

But maybe, just maybe, he is merely a singing, dancing horse?

Hook 2 (TJ) - Caught Red Hooved

The owners at Cavront's Carriages are under investigation. Carriages owned by this company have been found destroyed on the roadside on numerous occasions. In each case, the passengers and coachmen have been massacred in what looks like an isolated stampede. The only other commonality is the bloody hoofprints leaving the scene, leading directly to the horse or horses attached to that evening's vehicle. Consistently, these animals seem unbothered by the blood rimming their hooves and whatever else happened that evening. 

Investigators are grasping at straws, suggesting everything from a horse-borne disease to a renegade druid mind-controlling these otherwise docile creatures. If they don't figure it out soon, Cavront's Carriages will be forced to close permanently and transportation options will suffer for it. As it is, the townspeople are already growing wary of any and all equine creatures within the town limits.

Hook 3 (Max) - Hard to Destroy Steed

The local barony is having an unusual issue. A single horse is wreaking immense havoc on both buildings and crops, showing no intention of stopping.

Not long ago, it was a regular stallion living its best life on the plains. That was, at least, until a group of mercenaries accidentally released some ancient spell from a nearby ruin. This led to the aforementioned incantation attaching itself to the poor animal.

Through it, it has gained two interesting abilities. Firstly, it can run at ludicrous speeds, reaching velocities so high that it can easily punch through stone walls. But how does it do it without turning into a bloody pulp? Well, the second part of the charm has made it impervious to all damage—both conventional weapons and magic. If anyone attempts to approach the beast, upon seeing them it simply gallops away, leaving behind a cloud of dust and ruin in its wake.

Hook 4 (TJ) - The Origin of Species

"Wh-what is that?"

"I'm glad you asked. Gaze upon it and tell me what you think."

"It seems to be... Like half of a centaur. No. Part of a hippogriff? The front half is clearly a partial hippocampus. Did you capture the steed of a gillman? It has the same structure to it... But only four limbs, unlike a centaur. No wings either, like a hippogriff would have. It's also lacking the gills of a hippocampus. It appears to be strong and sturdy. Impressive musculature. No fins or wings, so neither avian nor piscine in nature. It appears to be mammalian. You've made a... large, terrestrial mammal?"

"I'm very impressed. You've isolated many of the components that went into this creature. Strong, as you've said. Quick on its legs, just like a centaur. A mammal capable of grazing, easier to feed than the hippogriff, and no risk of a fall from a dangerous height. Terrestrial, unlike the hippocampus, with a little bit of training to ride, we could finally have an edge. Imagine a brigade of our brethren, all astride magnificent beasts just like this one, riding down our enemies. We could rule every square mile of inhabitable land, chase the gillmen back to the depths."

"This could be it. We... we could be kings! What will we call it?"

"I think I will call it... The Horse."

"...Really? That's it?"

Hook 5 (Nemanja) - Sons of Horse

Just when the Four Chieftains' Wars were becoming less bloody and intense, they appeared from the Vast, the endless plains beyond the Lands of Man.

They changed how wars were fought forever—every man, woman, and child in the Lands of Man knew how to ride, and battles were fought with endless variations of the mounted warrior.

This new enemy of ours though? Not a horse in sight. All of them are equipped with heavy armour and long, heavy pikes. They slaughtered us like pigs, though they tried to never hurt a single horse. Apparently, their leaders were twins who were cast out into the wilderness as children and a friggin mare raised them. A mare, I say.

Funnily enough, as they built a nation of castaways in that faraway hole of theirs, they also built a cult around their "mother". She's still around, by the way. Still kicking, some would say. Anyway, those religious freak soldiers of theirs? They believe that the old horse is connected to all of them and that she gives them strength beyond that of mortal men. It sure feels like they ain't wrong about that either.

So, if anyone could sneak back to the stable they call a palace and strike that old mare down, we just might stand a chance still...

Hook 6 (Nemanja) - Horse d'oeuvre

A group of Taiga Giants has kidnapped the mayor's daughter. They have promised to return her unharmed if the townsmen can deliver them at least two dozen highlands ponies. The tiny horses are, apparently, a favoured snack in giant culture, not meant to be consumed alive. Unfortunately for the giants, they are too large and not nearly dextrous enough to be able to catch them without harming them, at which point they are considered inedible.

Editor's Note: Oh you thought that just because we already had six hooks that the editor wasn't also going to write more completely unnecessary horse hooks? Well you're wrong, pal.

Hook 7 (Reece) - Breaking Badland

Old Man Trikar has a problem. He has been breeding horses for over 50 years and is known in the surrounding villages as the foremost expert on training the creatures. The Fey King of Horses is not overly pleased by Trikar's skill in subduing the majestic creatures, so he has decided to put the old man to the test. 

The Fey King has unleashed a Yunda Badlands Stallion into his paddock, and the damnable thing is beating on the other stallions and terrorizing the mares. They are foul-tempered and not easily broken, but Trikar thinks he can do it. He could, at least, if he could catch the sodden thing.

Yunda's are known to be twice as fast as any normal southlander horse and are near ten hands taller than even the strongest breeds. In his younger years he might've caught the beast, but with his old age—not to mention his missing leg—it's impossible for him to do alone.

He could really use the help, so long as you don't mind catching an oversized hoof.

And maybe the odd fire breath—they do that sometimes.

Hook 8 (Reece) - The Cube Rebellion

"You're kidding."

"No sir."

"They rebelled?"

"Yes sir."

"Pray tell, captain, how do horses rebel?"

"A mad druid has systemically awakened hundreds of them in the dead of night while most of the stablehands were asleep, sir."

"What exactly do rebelling horses want, captain? Are they joining the enemy or something?" 

"Ehm- No sir. They... Want soldier's pay, sir."

"What do they plan on buying?! They don't even have thumbs or coin purses!"

"They-" Captain Cadrus cleared his throat, looking visibly uncomfortable. "They want their pay in sugar cubes... Sir."